1. Describe three situations where you have hurt others through engaging in one of the behaviors listed and Describe how your behavior affected others and What might you do to make amends?


Dishonesty
Disloyalty
Unfaithfulness
Physically assaultive
Verbal attacks
Stealing
Irresponsibility
Unkindness
Insensitivity
Blaming
Threatening
Illegal acts
Substance abuse
Name calling
Unkept promises


٢- Write a letter of apology to each of the people who were hurt in each of the three incidents described. Include in your letter of apology a description of what you did to hurt them, your perception of how your actions must have affected them, how you feel today about your actions, and what you wished you would have done in the place of your hurtful behavior

3- TAKING A TIME-OUT
Do remove yourself from the upsetting situation before unwanted consequences.
Do stay gone long enough to cool down. (Mins, hours, or days)
Don’t use alcohol or drugs while in your “time-out.”
Do use distraction initially. Force yourself to think about something else .
Planning a vacation, surfing the Internet, counting to 100, or immersing yourself in a “movie, football game”.
something physical: Go for a walk, run, bike ride, garden
If necessary, do consult a friend or person you trust.
Do get validated. Find someone who can validate your feelings
Don’t find “yes men” (or “yes women”) who will “fuel your shoulds.”
These people seem validating initially but only serve to “add fuel to the fire” and make us more angry at the person we are already angry at
Don’t use the time-out as an excuse to avoid completely situations that need to be dealt with.


4- Write two letters with different purposes.
The first is simply to vent angry feelings .
This is never intended for the person you are angry at to see.
In this letter, be as honest as you can be.
These letters often aren’t pretty!
Then, review the letter with a therapist or friend.
Decide if there is value in the other person receiving a version of the letter.
If you decide there is, modify the letter with a new intent: saying what you believe you need to say in a way that you think the person can hear it.
Such a letter then needs to be followed up with a phone call, email, or person-to-person conversation.
Consult with your therapist regarding which is the best way to proceed in your particular situation.